options …
09 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in 24'7 =365, its gaining~, mugger frz, new discoverY, says my souL
New school term just started, this time round everyone was not around in the same class as me… kinda sianz gotta start the whole new PR thing all over again. But still some lucky part of me, I have Lynn and welling to send me the past notes not really tat unlucky, and best part Gina and me are in different classes… woo hooo which means I dun hv to suffer from her bossy-ness.
Past 1 week had been a lot for me. A lot of the first few days and later it slows down. Carolyn told me something btw the 2 jus when I tot the 1st option was goanna be rite, the 2nd option appear and saying everything had changed according to was I always wanted. Seriously if u were me, how would you have even made ur pick? The initial which you pick you tot it was all ok, but things happen before your real eyes and jus couldn’t feel anything, small little mishap makes everything goes from bad to worst. Given my character, the dilemma I makes me so sick and emo… I dun really know how others stands but for me, with tat for life to stands those. Kill me will be an easier way for me to even accept it. And the act of a child’s in everyone heart was so obvious. Nothing much been changed jus that I realized I see what I can be bothered more about. Maybe during the past option 2 had taught me that I could request more from what I am getting tat result the current me. No doubt not much people will understand
What I am talking rite now. But it’s ok. I understand will do.
Option 2, inform me about all the changed which had been made to my request, this is really a miracle for me, giving the idea that I would have slowly wanting to delete this memory from my brain. It’s nice but still I believe lots of courage is need for me to move to option 2 given the past experience which was deeply wounded. It is jus like a drug it will tempt you den suck u to the side which you will throw in yourself for it, without thinking much wat was done by it. But to me option 2 hides it child within, not much present of the child was presented and I wouldn’t have to kill myself to adapt for it. But it scares me that history will repeat. A not pleasant experience, which will wann it to repeat, isn’t it? But with the given fear if u never did try, how would you know this time round it will not succeed?
Gambling again… in every game, once u fear you lose, so? Fear not to loose???
Weak me …
am i ??
