im back ..
23 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in 24'7 =365, everydaY, office, says my souL
guess wat.. im in office now writing this blog once again .
its close to a years since i last blogged .
everything change now, i changed department and i see changes around me all these while
as wat my boss says “changes is constant”
true enough so much changes ..
my nephew is out to meet us finally after such a long waiting time .. he was born 21 April 2011
grandma past away last yr just before cny .
and this yr finally we can all go to her tombstone to visit her .
as long as these family gathering .. its always fun.
i met this wonderful guy whose extrimely nice to me and he safeguard me well and give me all the TLC that i can get from him, he makes my day but at times we argue, mostly me. we are human eventually , temper do exsist isnt it ..
options …
09 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in 24'7 =365, its gaining~, mugger frz, new discoverY, says my souL
New school term just started, this time round everyone was not around in the same class as me… kinda sianz gotta start the whole new PR thing all over again. But still some lucky part of me, I have Lynn and welling to send me the past notes not really tat unlucky, and best part Gina and me are in different classes… woo hooo which means I dun hv to suffer from her bossy-ness.
Past 1 week had been a lot for me. A lot of the first few days and later it slows down. Carolyn told me something btw the 2 jus when I tot the 1st option was goanna be rite, the 2nd option appear and saying everything had changed according to was I always wanted. Seriously if u were me, how would you have even made ur pick? The initial which you pick you tot it was all ok, but things happen before your real eyes and jus couldn’t feel anything, small little mishap makes everything goes from bad to worst. Given my character, the dilemma I makes me so sick and emo… I dun really know how others stands but for me, with tat for life to stands those. Kill me will be an easier way for me to even accept it. And the act of a child’s in everyone heart was so obvious. Nothing much been changed jus that I realized I see what I can be bothered more about. Maybe during the past option 2 had taught me that I could request more from what I am getting tat result the current me. No doubt not much people will understand
What I am talking rite now. But it’s ok. I understand will do.
Option 2, inform me about all the changed which had been made to my request, this is really a miracle for me, giving the idea that I would have slowly wanting to delete this memory from my brain. It’s nice but still I believe lots of courage is need for me to move to option 2 given the past experience which was deeply wounded. It is jus like a drug it will tempt you den suck u to the side which you will throw in yourself for it, without thinking much wat was done by it. But to me option 2 hides it child within, not much present of the child was presented and I wouldn’t have to kill myself to adapt for it. But it scares me that history will repeat. A not pleasant experience, which will wann it to repeat, isn’t it? But with the given fear if u never did try, how would you know this time round it will not succeed?
Gambling again… in every game, once u fear you lose, so? Fear not to loose???
Weak me …
am i ??
u assume i was ..
19 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
in 24'7 =365, its gaining~, says my souL
i dun really know how shall i write or says about all these ..
you assume that i will be like this
you assume that i will be like wat u thinki gonna be
you assume wat i will do..
you assume how i would have felt ..
but all these aint exactly all right ..
ended up..you were the one whom felt all those but it just isnt me ..
you gotta diasppointed
you gotta upset
you gotta anxious
you gotta misses more
you gotta delimma over wat to be done
ended up..you start to make the move again..
tots in ur mind
problems u faces
things that ur doing
ended up..you tells me and shares it with me ..telling me, i make you feel stress free and comfortable..
i ?
i hv given you the options
i hv given you suggestions
i hv given you time to solve this whole thing
i hv been telling myself ur a friend
i hv given up and wants to move on..
ended up..you puts me back in the same difficult position..
i know wat i want. but i couldnt get it, you couldnt give it to me, wat do you expect me to do..isnt it?
yes i do misses
yes i was indeed suprises that you told me all of it..
yes i was touch by those u says
but i oso do trying to move on and waiting hoping someday for ur return..
i do ..
i really do ..
really ..
—–
activities ..
19 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
in 24'7 =365
tough week, exam is finally over, have been back to work already.. but everything seems too quiet and tired.. quiet as not much people are talking in the office.. tired.. maybe too much stress were put up for the exam over the week.
i am a sma student going to smu to study all the time..all thx to my kpo gf whom working in the place..luv the apple crumble over at the kitchen..the library there open 24hours during examination week.
exam freakout ..yes i am superly tired over it. never did i study for such a long hours,and carrying my red heavy bag is too much for my shoulders..
thursday ..took mc went to see doc for my skin and my ach pain.. doc says tat i am too much stress need lots rest..
return back to office and .. everything are not exactly in mess just tat it doesnt excite me with the work people and the sayings of wat other says about me.. freaking tired .. arggg
friday went watch movie with chow..watch shutter island.. its a damn nice show..keep me follow and follow..it keeps my mind on and on with the movie..yet me and chow tends to hv this habit.. small talk about the scene while watching ..end up .. they people next to us.. SsssHhhhh at us. opps .. guess we kinda of a little too much ..
we like the show.. its more to those physco IQ EQ superly higher then normals people .. must watch ! it wont be a waste to watch.
tots
13 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
in 24'7 =365
tot = 13/4/10
did we sort out all things ? still the thinking was you but since had decided to move on wats there to be regretted shall be only blame to myself , isn’t it ? adapting life without peple whom use to be close to me.
feeling delighted? not sure ..
is this move gonna be good? not sure ..
are u happy ? not really sure but m rather busy with all my activities , lots things happening in replace of my old life
maybe I bearly hv time to sit down n
think m I happy with this but minimum … I moved
doreen ask “get a man, hv a baby to complete, get a saragate” I was like huh … m I looking very anxious as wat I projected to you ? nah I know mean no harm … we are people who speak directly .. maybe this issue that she worry for me isn’t a major issue rite now ..maybe after my studies when I start blowing off my 5 big 4 small candles den I start panic.. lol
exam .. sucks
not tat i hate my red crumple bag but everytime when I carry it.. it jus means tat books are in lappy in too n it’s exam periodddd muggling time . my shoulder are aching at both sides
the prev exam at least not so bad still hv an offer mi ride home but now even if we start SMS doubt will ask for ride bk hm ..
bone aching seriously
tot
13 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
in 24'7 =365
tot = 13/4/10
been almost a week nothing from u finaly when I woke up from a nap something I felt seriously missed. m I scare of silent ?
yes I assume.
hp still din ring u were totally disappear from my area.
finally sms u.
yet till nw the hp still din ring..
m sad
